Part 2: 11 - Now Here, Nowhere
Maeve and Todd, between going away and going home
Things That Can’t Be Broken is a novel presented as a live draft, one chapter every week.
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Part 2 | History is a Pile of Debris
11 - Now Here, Nowhere
Maeve Allen
October 9, 1988
Boston Logan International Airport
The layover in Boston came with free entertainment in the form of a sweet toddler boy with sandy-curls. The cherub paced back and forth in front of the airport windows, pointing at every plane that landed and asking his mother, “Daddy?” To which she patiently replied, “Not yet, Sammy.”
“Todd.” Maeve pointed with her glance.
He smiled. “Aye. Watching for his da.”
It was good to see him smile.
Maeve felt she was finally ready for a child of her own, if one ever is. They had been trying to get pregnant even before all the trouble. But after the public murder suspicion it seemed more important than ever. The events of the past months had changed Todd in unexpected ways. She saw hope in the prospect of a child, something joyful that could bring her husband back to himself.
He had taken the ignorant accusations of strangers deeply to heart. Todd himself knew his feelings of guilt were not logical, yet they persisted. Maeve had never seen this defeated version of her husband before. He felt shame over Dani Cartwright’s murder, though anyone who knew Todd knew he could never hurt a child.
The public believes what they are told to believe. Two students dropped out almost immediately after Veronica’s broadcast at their front gate, and none of the incoming first year students turned in an acceptance letter. Not long after the actual killer was discovered, a few parents and former students did reach out with encouraging words, saying they knew all along it wasn’t him. She was grateful for their calls, but they were somehow not enough.
Not sure how to handle the problem, Maeve did what came naturally to her. She went to the library to research and seek advice. She found story after unfortunate story. What he was going through, what they were both going through, wasn’t uncommon. It was typical fallout from a public accusation, however false. Reading the stories, even knowing the situation from an insider’s point of view, she still found it difficult to believe wholly in the innocence of the falsely accused suspects she read about. Suspicion is sticky. No legal action could remove the subconscious stain from the mind of the public. It clung to the crevices like fine clay dust wherever it landed.
Time heals, they say. Surely time would heal this wound too, but how much time? Some days, when Todd seemed to be doing better, she would ask him to do something routine with her, like go to the grocery store. But when people recognized Todd, he saw their eyes darting away and their children pulled in protectively. Real or imagined, it weighed him down.
Maeve took every opportunity to encourage him. She pointed out every bright spot in their lives, from good coffee to friendly chats with neighbors. She coaxed him outside to soak up golden afternoons together on horseback. He would most often comply. And sometimes a spark of her lively husband would return, or so he plainly wished for her to believe. But nothing Maeve said or did seemed to rid him of the undeserved shame lurking under the surface. Friends suggested counseling; he was far too Scottish for that. The depression would eventually pass. Surely it would pass.
Maeve heard the toddler boy’s voice again as he pointed to a plane rolling by the window toward another gate. She became aware of the vibration all around them. Closing her eyes for a moment, she let the clunk and clatter of shoes, the murmur and joyful laughter of hellos, the tearful goodbyes swirl through her. Airports were a place of transition, of coming and going. Now here and nowhere. Not even eight years ago, she and Todd were the travelers, arriving in this same airport for their East Coast layover on their way to California from Scotland, with big dreams to make real. Today, they would return to Scotland pursuing nothing more than few months of respite, some simple peace from which to start anew.
Leaving for six months wasn’t an easy decision to make, but something had to shake things up. Maeve hoped a few months in Edinburgh would do the trick. They decided to leave for Scotland in October and return to Allen Haven in early March. That would give them six months to reset their lives. Coming back to California in March, the hills would be almost as green in Dehesa Valley as the Scottish Highlands in late summer. In Maeve’s mind, it would be a smoother transition for Todd.
Returning in March would also mean their two fourth-year students, Vik and Terry, would have plenty of time to work with their horses and prepare for their Demonstration Day the following June. They would be the only students to return this school year. Both seemed happy enough with the arrangement. The plan made good sense, and yet she put off buying the tickets to Edinburgh for an entire month after the decision was made, hoping. . . She didn’t even know what she was hoping—that Todd would suddenly awaken as his jovial self and the horsemanship program would continue on schedule?
The last several weeks had been busy. It was heart-aching work, but they made sure all of the animals were in good hands. The Vasquez family next door was happy to take all the chickens and both cats. They sold Pappy. Maeve hated to see him go, but the girl he went to was in instant love with the spotted gelding. He would have a good home. Most of the other horses would be on six-month leases at nearby stables. Leases often ended in sales, so if needed, they would find new horses for the next year’s program.
They held on to Fancy and Lacey. The two mares would be boarded down the road at Quail Gardens, where they paid extra for the benefit of regular exercise and daily turnouts together. The mares were young and had plenty to teach another set of students. Todd had bonded with Lacey over the last few months. And, although it was doubtful, Barb might somehow manage to purchase Fancy in the next year or two.
“It was good of Genny to drive us to the airport this morning.” Todd said.
“It was.” Maeve smiled into the airport crowd, grateful for the kindness her little sister had shown. Their airport goodbye had been tearful. Genny stepped up every time they needed anything, though she declined to stay at the house—understandably. She liked her own place, and it was walking distance from the junior high where she worked. But she agreed to take in their two labs, Ginger and Merrylegs.
As if tuning in to her thoughts, Todd suddenly tapped Maeve on the knee. “Did ye tell Genny that Merrylegs needs his ears cleaned? And nae to feed Ginger anything fatty?”
Maeve nodded. “I did. She loves them. She’ll take good care of them.”
“Aye. I ken she will.”
“I only worry that they won’t want to come back,” Maeve added.
“Truly,” said Todd. He stared out at the airfield for a moment, then said, “Can ye believe Grace is three months sober?”
Todd’s twin, Grace, had just spent ninety days in a drug rehab. She had cancelled her band’s tour and admitted herself back in June.
“It was such a surprise when she told you,” said Maeve. “I mean, I knew she drank, maybe other things, but I . . . I guess I assumed it was . . .”
“Part of the music scene?” said Todd. “Aye. It has me wonderin’ as well. She’s a wee bit short on the phone of late. I can’na get a lot out of her.”
“Maybe she had a fallout with the band. You don’t think she’ll stop performing, do you?” Maeve asked.
“Nae, that’s hard to imagine. My sister has been playin’ music for people since we were bairns. But maybe. . . maybe it will be a new band.”
She squeezed his hand and smiled at him, “You’ll know straight from the source soon.”
“Aye. Mam says she’s doing well, but she is up to something and she will’na tell me. There’ll be no more secrets. Nae to my face, anyway.”
Maeve looked down at her hands, “I was glad to hear she’s living with Josephine.”
It was a comfort to Maeve in more ways than one. It meant Grace was not alone in her effort to stay sober, but it also meant their old tenement was empty. Grace was not a bad sister-in-law, but for a small woman, she had a very large footprint in a household, both physically and audibly.
“Good for them both for a while, I’m sure,” said Todd, “Until Mam can’na take it anymore.”
The gate door opened, and a line of weary travelers filed past Maeve and Todd. Some of the faces grew wide smiles before they were enveloped in the arms of waiting family members. A few others peered stoically into the crowd, looking for held-up signs. She spotted the toddler boy they were watching earlier at the moment he was scooped up and lifted high in his daddy’s arms.
Maeve turned her head to find her husband’s warm smile aimed at her, the glint of light in his eyes forecasting healing. He reached his hand to hers and a weight began to lift. He said something she couldn’t hear above the voices of the crowd passing by, but she understood one word, “Home.”
“Yes,” she said.
He pulled her to him and kissed her discretely as the crowd dispersed into their ongoing lives. An attendant announced it was time for them to board.
They rose together.
Next week
Part 2 | History is a Pile of Debris
12 - Tethered
Behind-the-Scenes Extra
You guessed it, the initial sprig of this chapter was penned on the way to visit family. Chances are, you know how that layover time feels, the emptiness and muted anticipation. But remember, this is 1988. It was a different experience back then. Whole families might be there at the gate to greet loved ones as they arrived, or to kiss them goodbye before they boarded. It was fun to think about how that might feel to Maeve and Todd on their way back to Scotland.
Part 2 | History is a Pile of Debris, the second season, is almost over. A few small things did change from my original outline for this season, but not many. Deputy Ocampo had his own chapter, which was something I was not sure would happen. There were some little tweaks to the timeline, especially in the investigation, based on my consultations with an expert. I’ve told you all along this is not a detective story, but that doesn’t mean the investigation shouldn’t make sense. You readers seemed to agree that it worked
Just one more chapter to go and we’ll be at the halfway mark. Woo hoo! I am now assessing my notes and outline again in detail to prepare for Part 3 | A Storm Blowing from Paradise. I’m excited for what’s coming. I don’t think it’s what you expect. Thank you again for trusting me to bring you a good story, my brave readers! I am here to meet this
This chapter was lovely and it’s full of new beginnings! 🤍